[Game thread] Skull Ruins Pokerole

[PhantomUnderYourDesk]

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(...) At first, Shiva's indeed leaving the pace and any 'starting' of things to her dear, but from...the look of it this won't progress things, causing her to eventually sigh and slightly turn to face Ven from the side. Staying like that for a little, she eventually accumulates her courage and speaks up to him a careful and soft voice. "Ven.... From the look of it, something is aling you. You....know how I'm there for you. That hasn't changed. So, are you...fine with...I mean, would like to share what it is? If it's something about me that causes you headache, then please don't be shy to enlighten me, be honest. Only this way we may...find to each other again."

She turned silent after this, a bit tense even. But she'll listen to this oddball of researcher if he decides to open up, and will not pry if he doesn't.... Not until it'll cause direct problems, at least.

Those words of his most blessed girlfriend caused the often erratic researcher to tense up badly , causing him to turn away from her soft, inquisitive stare as he ruefully grimenced to himself as he tried to hide the full extent of how much a innocent and caring questions made him uncomfortable. Yeap, something was definitely eating him up, like a Snorlax at an all you can eat buffet. Ventus stayed like this for several minutes in silence, avoiding eye contact and schooling his own emotions, seemingly looking poised to just get up and walked away and avoid Shiva's questions altogether. He didn't once budge from his fae fancy's side though, showing either a remarkable resolve hidden beneath all that anxiety and reserved wariness....or he feels like he's trapped, and their is no escape now. Maybe even a little of both.

"...……………"
"...……………"
'.....I'm sorry, Shiva. I'm so, so sorry.....For being so.....fearful......so guarded, wary, and distrustful. For...…..for being terrified of you, and ready to have Apsis lash out at you out of....out of a felt need to defend myself from you .  For treating you.....everyone.....like they are some pariahs, or like they were retrobates not worthy of my time. Most of all......I'm sorry for ignoring you, for pushing away and shutting you out  like I have, when all you've done to me is being understanding, patience, and FORGIVING …."

"...……………"
"...……………"
"......I will not lie…...I'm am still scared of you. Of Everyone that has come into contact with That Gauntlet , of you becoming.....becoming something beyond human , and making such a.......transformation so willing.  Its....its all so horrible for me to see and know their was NOTHING I could do and stop it, to convince you otherwise , and just had to....had to let it happen. I'm....I'm afraid you....Nathan....Heart.....I'm afraid that by so willingly.....transform into such a THING, you'll become twisted by that POWER, that you'll all end go the same way of my, my, m-my...…"

".....my mother. Or rather, what little is left of her in THAT.....THING. "

"...……………"
"...……………"
"...…...It doesn't fully excuse how badly I've treated you. You are a Fae Woman, interest in all sorts of occult and arcane things that I consider taboo and dangerous, and yet somehow still learned to accept that fact and still become your friend, let alone your BOYfriend. Yet I still treat you like less than an lowly Bug type, unworthy of my attention. ……I'm....I'm so scared, so apprenhensive, so wary of EVERYONE, but I have to keep that bottled up, keep everyone away and deal with it myself, as NOBODY else seemed to CARE about my FEARS, but-but I could have come to YOU earlier, told you about it, save you a day of worry and silent concern and...and DESPAIR...…

"......But I refused. I shunned you too, like everyone else...…
"......I am still shunning you now, aren't I."

"...……………."
"...……………."
"...…I'm so sorry"

The researcher hangs low, so low that it looks like he'll tip over and out of the hammock and bruise his head, after say all of.....THAT.

…Coping with everything alone...
……simply because you are too afraid to share your woes with everyone else...
………yet knowing someone cares and could helped you, and you could have helped them too, if you only reached out earlier.....

……..Its not a nice feeling.

…It seems like her intuition was not misplaced at all, as from SUCH a negative and 'caught' reaction from him Shiva could definitely be sure that things were unbalanced again. That something was just not right with her usually warm and open love, and she could already guess what. How could she ever not think that it'd give him reason for concern... But maybe she just has undersetimated things a little, given how strong Ven reacted to being 'seen through'.

The whole time while he didn't face her and kept silent, Shiva just kept on looking at him from the side, a little less tense now. Cottonee used that moment to cuddle up to her beloved Master, receiving a few dear strokes through her fluff - Nightshade ended up receiving these as well as she hid in the fluffball's fluff, soaking up the self-casted beams of Morning Sun with her leaves. When Ventus eventually rather hestantly spoke up, she brought all her attention to him and what he had to say, not speaking up until he had finished. She showed barely any reaction during that, apart from her soft smile decreasing when he said he was so sorry, frowning only a bit as he said that he's still scared of her, and looking a bit sad upon him saying that nobody would have cared about his fears.

A few minutes of silence followed then where nothing was heard except the normal things within Atheneum, but these felt distant now. It was almost tangible how much Shiva considered carefully what to say or do, but eventually she did nothing more than very softly stroke over the shoulder of this heap of misery aka Ventus Z., her touch almost angelic. By doing so, she must've been trying to show that she's...she actually didn't know.

"....First of all, you should be proud. You've spoken yourself out. Solely by doing so you're showing that you still care for me, lots. Thank you...."

"Second, I....I am actually sorry myself as I didn't definitely noticed that you've been shunning me or the others. I've been so busy with exploring and making good use of our success in finding this place that I must have put other things aside... You, for example. All I noticed was that you seemingly accepted only Valder's company and wanted to be left alone apart from that, and it's making so much sense now.... But I've been granting you alone time, as much as needed. My, if you wouldn't have asked me, I'd likely still browse the library for random things simply to be busy until we'd all leave. There wouldn't be much time for us to speak like we're doing now. Now though, I'm very glad that you've asked to spend time together, as I now know why you've did that almost out of the blue, especially after.... you know."

She briefly pauses here, takes a deep breath that she releases as an impercible sigh. "'More than human'. Being turned into that by the Gauntlet - so that's the reason? No, don't be incredibly sorry for it triggering your fears. If I'd be in your shoes, would have experienced what you've did when you were...so young, then I'd surely react the same way. The important thing is how you're handling it: Withdrawal feels like a natural reaction. Yet you've made this leap of faith and came to me - ME, who is practically magical even without the Gauntlet. You could have ignored it, shunned me further and even leave on the quiet, refusing to deal with me. Would that be constructive, Ven?"

*short break for him to mull over things* "..... No, it would not. By doing so things will barely even get better, they'd only get worse."

With a bit of sadness in her eyes, she continues. "Ven, dear, listen. I can definitely assure you that the Gauntlet has nothing done that I'm considering negative or a direct 'change of my personality'. I wouldn't even directly call it 'magical', now that I've had a day after touching it. 'Twisted by that power'... If me that has never lied to you assure you that this won't happen at least to me (not sure about the others, she can only speak for herself here), that I'll do everything to NOT let something happen and will take direct measures shall I realize even a small hint of things entering dark territory, can you at least TRY to give it a chance? I'm not saying that you should not make a connection to what happened to your...dear mother, but I'm instead asking you to give it a CHANCE. If you want, keep me under observation. If you want, become an overly careful and protective boyfriend. If you want, I can report it to you in an instant shall I feel something weird or something I'd connect to me touching the Gauntlet, so that we can deal with it in an appropriate way. Ven - this time, you can do more than sit and watch things happening. You can have an amount of control on things. You just have to....allow it and accept what I've done. You can try to make a difference and PREVENT that something like...Delilah repeats, if that is your worry."

"I can also....tell you that I've touched that Gauntlet on my own will. Nothing forced me to do, even if it may has looked to you like it has. Let your empathy confirm to you that I'm not lying to you when I'm saying this: I touched the Gauntlet because I wanted to. I could withdraw my hand and pivot at any point, choosing not to place my hand onto it. It may have...'called' if you want, but not in a way that it can't be resisted. It's just that I....seem to be susceptible to 'calls' and I can guess why by now, do you remember when our Pokemon disappeared one morning and we opened our mind to pick up any hints? It seems like it'd do me well to learn how to close my mind and prevent negative feelings from outside penetrating my developing own empathy, something that I'm feeling is possible and you said you'd aid me in."

She ends her speech with touching his shoulder once more, a sad but also soft and dear smile on her face. "Ven... Ventus... The magic and the arcane may be your nightmare-fuel. But still you've let me into your life, and I guess I've never told you before how thankful I am for that choice of yours. You're on a good way - Try giving things a tiny chance first before you damn them." To emphasize, she sprinkles a tad bit of the White Apricorn Dust over Ventus' scared-beneath-the-sweater chest. "If you damn them the moment they're feeling even a tad bit malicious or make you feel uneasy, none will blame you for it. If something I'd do or plan to do worries you - be not shy to tell me."