[Game thread] Skull Ruins Pokerole

[PhantomUnderYourDesk]

Shiva's smiling at Umbreon, but she's not sure whether she can give him a positive answer in this case. "You wish for the truth, precious Umbreon? Then......." Her voice breaks, she sighs heavily, looks rather defeated and to a good degree, pathetic and full of self-loathing as she lets her head hang again. "I can't tell you, dear one, as I'm not sure myself. I'm so sorry... So....."

".....sorry...... All of it..." These tiny words are adressed to Nathan. "I WISH to.... trust you again, be friends with you again... But it's not easy in the slightest." ... "It's all so.... hard. Why...?!" She heavily gulps back a sob.

...

"...Shiva, you know how much family and friends mean to me, and...why that is...I don't know why Umbreon's question is so hard for you to answer..."

Another sigh from Nathan.  He seems like he has more to say, but...now's not the time to answer the 'why?' that Shiva posed.  He'd also say something to Umbreon right now, but...he seems to be waiting for Shiva to say something in response.

(Does that change Shiva's answer to Umbreon any?)

(It does in some way.)


These words hit Shiva hard as they seem to go the direct way into her sensitive heart, inflicting more pain to it. At what point has this cave trip taken such an emotional turn?? In fact, she's having a harder and harder time to not weep in sheer anguish.

".... I do ", she responds in a very quiet voice, but it somehow still echoes loudly in the cave. "You told me, I've always been there to listen. To provide comfort when needed, to just lend an ear and encouraging words... Yet you haven't ever asked how important family is to ME. I shrugged it off, proceeded to act as the bastion of calm. I've been okay. Friends...."

She can't help but to let out a toneless and weak chuckle at that, depleted of any joy.

"I've seen you a friend. Maybe we'd even become good ones if you wouldn't have hurt me by stressing out Ventus so much and.... a... you know the other reasons maybe, I don't quite get WHY things have gone that way if I've been a friend for you. I... I wished to return these sentiments, but it became harder and harder for me, you see....? But it all...."

".... it all does NOT excuse how I've closed myself off towards you, bit by bit. I'm so... so sorry for that, when you don't deserve that..." Self-loathing is a painful thing, and Shiva has actually hoped to not experience it again for quite a while, but she has been so blatantly wrong. It hurts so much - and she can't really do anything to ease it.


Except....

...She looks up to the boy then, maybe suprisingly in this situation; but she's smiling very weakly. Faint streaks of bitter tears stain the honesty in her expression. "Ancestor Cave is fine place to do a new beginning, to take a fresh start, to reset and try to rebuild things from a new base, now is it....? Hand me that Ditto, and I'll... I'll, well..." --- The voice in her mind encourages her in mild words, assures that what she thinks is the right thing to do here IS the right thing - hopefully it's speaking truth to her ---"...I'll do my best to oversee these issues of the past we've had, to do whatever I can to ban them into the darkest corners of my memory, where they'll rot until they may be forgotten if time does indead heal all wounds.... I don't know, ah, whether THIS is what you want, but that's all I can offer to you: Friendship. Peace. Forgiving if all goes well, trust... If you'd only let me have........"

"Umbreon, have you listened to me...? Now, maybe if you believe my words then you know that he can be trusted, and maybe, NO - probably If I'm having you, your young and Ditto by my side, I will as well...."