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BEWARE, I LIVE! RUN, COWARDS!
#1
...Sinistar quote-greeting aside, I'm actually a newcomer to the Pokemon fangames, Uranium included; it was only a few months ago that I really got into fangames, starting with Pokemon Prism (which is awesome, by the way).  From there it was Uranium, Reborn, Rejuvenation, Insurgence, and a couple of "vanilla+" romhacks.

As far as Uranium goes, I actually left off just before the (actual) Championship match.  I love how the Tandor League is designed, by the way.

As for myself, I'm a pretty unusual sort who has an interest in everything - literally, everything.  Every area of every discipline, from science, law, politics, and medicine, to economics, education, and business, to music and fine arts, spirituality, philosophy, and everything in between and beyond.  Pretty much all of this stems from my life circumstances, which, although I actually am comfortable being open about them, would rather talk about them in a more appropriate place - which this introductory post isn't.  Let's just say that I have a past that's harrowing beyond words, and past events completely altered the course of my development; I actually had to create myself as an individual from scratch just a little over three and a half years ago, and it was nature in its bounty and brutality that served as my place of self-development.

I've been through more at my age than most ever would in their entire lifetimes...just a safe guess, really, and a personal hope as well.  I'd never want anyone to go through what I have.  To be honest, I don't think I really give the impression - that's what happens when you choose to stand a face your past, no matter how horrible the details.  The irony is that I learned many things that aren't really taught in society, and also have more than one form of extrasensory perception and general psychic awareness - which, more than anything, is probably a side-effect of just one of the things I endured.

The funny thing is, when I was playing Uranium, I came across some concepts in the plot that totally resonated with me due to personal experience, namely 
and 
The first is part of my own experience, and is the reason my development was alter as it was (though the circumstances are different...and something not everyone would like to hear about.  The second is something I'm able to do at will, though I'm still honing it (self-improvement never ends, hahah); so, I can elaborate on that particular concept out of my own experience and ability.  I wasn't really expecting that to happen when I played through Uranium's story, but there you go.  For me, it's just another reason to love the game.

As for my interests, I do plan to take up coding and game development, as well as digital music composition, digital art, including sprite-making and animation (like the idle Pokemon motions and move animations), and honestly...everything that would basically let me game games all by myself.  These are prospects at the moment, though; I don't have the luxury to pursue them right now, and unfortunately, my developmental circumstances completly ruined my education and employment opportunities (and believe me, I've already tried many, many times, through many different avenues).

What this basically means is that I was left to do everything on my own.  Self-development, including my own moral compass and value system; self-discipline and governance, resourcefulness and adaptation on the fly, autodidacticism, and learning to create my own opportunities, because I honestly have none in society according to "standards."

It's funny to think about, though - I was thrown to the wolves, and into "the jungle" as people like to call it.  I was never given any other choice, and nature is the most brutal boot camp there is...but I learned the importance of connection and resonance; of accepting all things as they are and not for what I "wish" them to be, and walking with all things great and small, as someone who's no more or less a part of this world as anyone else.  In the end, I'm far better off having suffered and overcome all these trials and travails than if I'd had a "normal" life.  I guess that's the main reason I'm here on the forum - to connect with others, to teach people things they might not know or understand, and to be taught in kind.  Once I get the chance, I'd like to see what I can offer to Uranium's development.  I also have ideas for my own original IP and always come up with new ideas, just because I have a literal world of inspiration.  Maybe there's something I could do even or Uranium now, but I guess we'll see, yeah?

By the way, I currently live in the US, but plan to move to Canada in 2 to 3 months.  Dual citizenship is one thing working in my favor amid these overwhelming odds, and this move would rally be to start anew...or rather, to just start, since I haven't been able to do that here.  I plan to dive into all sorts of volunteer work once I'm settled, so I don't know how much time I'll have to spend here.  That's also the point when I'll finally be able to start pursuing all these interests - but I plan to take a holistic approach, instead of tediously going after each of them one by one.

For now, I'll just enjoy my time here.  Oh, and I hope nobody minds tl;dr posts - it's hard to avoid them when I'm always pondering everything about everything.  That said, I'm open to talking about anything, even sensitive or controversial topics (but PM me and ask for my Discord if you're interested, because those things are better talked about in private).

And so ends my own stream of text; a torrential deluge of flowing words leaving all readers swamped in a lake of letters and symbols - much like a meandering river that surges in a waterfall and crashes into a deep basin!

Nature is great for inspiration, yeah?
It is by descending into the pits of one's personal hells to face them, conquer them, and make them part of one's strength that one realizes what's called "true power."
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#2
*doesn't run, but stays and reads* I like your story and especially that methaphor near the end. You'd deserve praise for openly sharing part of yourself here. Welcome in this comunity!~ People that are truely different fascinate me, though I'm more of a listener than a talker or someone who is proactive.

Though, what do you mean by 'you can do the second (mind-link) on will'? So far, I only heard of this as something used for psycho-emotional diagnosis and analysis, and not only because Lucille is my favorite character of the game (a slight pity we barely hear anything about her background, but that's where fanfiction can come into play) I'd enjoy to hear more about it. (Send a PM if you don't wish to speak about that openly in the thread, since I've turned away from Discord quite a while ago)
"Anything can be art. Anything can be self-expression. Now take your weapon and run with it" [Gerard Way]
--Windos is my OTP ❤---
`❤★`°・:*:・。[Image: fgHY4]。・:*:・゚’★❤`
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#3
*pulls out a box of store bought cookies to share*

Welcome to the forums! Sorry to hear about the rough start, but glad to hear it's not a complete disaster.  Hope you enjoy your stay here!
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#4
I still enjoy how it became some sort of running gag to give out cookies for new members. *thankfully takes one, noms it and goes back to desk*
"Anything can be art. Anything can be self-expression. Now take your weapon and run with it" [Gerard Way]
--Windos is my OTP ❤---
`❤★`°・:*:・。[Image: fgHY4]。・:*:・゚’★❤`
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#5
Welcome welcome, mate! Sorry about not replying earlier, but work and classes really has been the proverbial monkey hanging on my shoulders recently, so the others got to you first before I could offer my kudos and cookies! Still, an interesting (In a good way!) character like you is what the forums need, so I am estatic to see you make your way to Pokémon Uranium! May your stay here be magnificent!

Oh, and I'll just take one of those, thank you! *Snatch one of the cookies Dragonstrike provided, before replacing its with a snickerdoodle of his and wandering over where Phantom is at, eying her work while munching on his sweet treat*
Like the wind, I come and go as I please... but I am always there to provide a comforting breeze.

Member of Team PUNishment. Pun-pare for Struggle, make it Double Team!

Heart Phantom is my OTP~ Heart

Online ID: 000650
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#6
Haha, you guys are a riot!  I already have cookies of my own, though - and for real.  I'm munching on these right now; anyone want one?

[Image: FeFvJxxRqiJuaYChfqRkZhNG8tfyNgz7rQiGgtVu...28-h437-no]

I just got back from some outdoor meandering.  Lovely day here, great for stress relief and more pondering~

PhantomUnderYourDesk Wrote:*doesn't run, but stays and reads* I like your story and especially that methaphor near the end. You'd deserve praise for openly sharing part of yourself here. Welcome in this comunity!~ People that are truely different fascinate me, though I'm more of a listener than a talker or someone who is proactive.

Actually, I think most if not all of my openness comes from facing my past and all the details on my own.  When one can look upon one's one truths and face them head-on instead of denying, ignoring, or trying to run, it makes it a lot easier to be open to others about them.  Nobody can be blamed for not being open about themselves; I've seen the rampant ignorance of people and have experienced it myself first-hand (and my circumstances gave way to a pretty glaring disparity between myself and most everyone else, which makes it even harder).  The Uranuim community here seems like a place where nobody really minds difference - all the matters is mutual, all-around respect.

That said...

PhantomUnderYourDesk Wrote:Though, what do you mean by 'you can do the second (mind-link) on will'? So far, I only heard of this as something used for psycho-emotional diagnosis and analysis, and not only because Lucille is my favorite character of the game (a slight pity we barely hear anything about her background, but that's where fanfiction can come into play) I'd enjoy to hear more about it. (Send a PM if you don't wish to speak about that openly in the thread, since I've turned away from Discord quite a while ago)

Yeah, I get you on Discord - it can be a real hassle sometimes.

As for the mind-link, it's a more..active form of empathic perception (which I also have).  Whereas an empath is simply receptive of - and sensitive to - the psychological states of others, and a more passive kind of perception (at last for me, though it may just be due to how sensitive I am to pretty much everything), mind-linking goes beyond just a "perception."  What ends up happening is that my psyche is "linked" to another individual's, and their emotions, both positive and negative, become my own.  This requires a great deal of mental (and by extent, psychological) stamina, because it means I'm simultaneously dealing with my own psyche and someone's else's.  Most of the time I utilize it when I reach out to people who are in emotional distress, and it even works online via text only.  I've actually caught a lot of people off-guard by pinpointing their current emotional states, when their emotions change, and in some cases what caused that change in the first place.  It's something a lot of people like to say is "ridiculous" or impossible because "you can't discern emotion or sarcasm through text.  However, whenever I do this, I willingly leave myself vulnerable to extreme stress.  My limit is actually very high - much higher than most people can handle, but the limit exists nonetheless.  I've learned the hard way to not only keep a tight vigil on my stress level when I link with others like this, but also to make sure I'm in sound condition to even do it in the first place.  More than once, I've had my emotions go into a wild tailspin because of my carelessness, and in many cases the repercussions are so profound that I experience a number of adverse physical symptoms as well.  It's an ability most people don't have and don't understand, but the extreme double-edge involved is part of the reason I think that's for the best.

The concept was touched on after the second CURIE battle, where it was revealed that Lucille had used the CURIE interface to establish the same kind of mind link with Urayne before the game's events.  Initially, this was only for communication purposes, but Lucille had grown emotionally attached to Urayne during the experiments.  This is something I've had to be careful of as well, and I've had a lot of problems arise simply from growing too attached to others and not breaking or at least lessening this attachment before it became problematic and stressful for me (and many good friendships were ruined as a result).  However, because Lucille could only perform this mind link while wearing the Curie interface, and because she wore it for the entire ten-year period she and Urayne were in stasis together, this meant that their mind link was drastically prolonged for far longer than I would ever consider maintaining of my own volition or ability.  What ended up happening is that the two separate psyches of Lucille and Urayne eventually grew into one; this process, as described in the game, "frayed" Lucille's mental state, but as this mind link was mutual, Urayne's mind was also frayed. This grotesque, involuntary process resulted in their minds, formerly stable, becoming a single, unstable psyche.  Their unified condition was compounded by the fact that both Lucille and Urayne were both overtaken by despair just before they went into the stasis tank.  Whenever you encounter them in the game, they're always together, but although Urayne never actually communicates during the story and CURIE does the talking, the truth is that they're both speaking from the same mind, driven by the same despair, and exhibiting the same mental instability.

Even before I played Uranium and came across this in the story, I'd realized the consequences of irresponsibility of my own mind-link ability.  What would happen if I linked with someone and this person lost their mind, and what would happened to my mind as a result?  What would happen to the other individual if I went insane or something of the like?  Also, what more would I feel if I keep training this ability?  Would I eventually be able to feel the physical pain of the other individual?  If so, what would happened if they sustained an injury that left them close to death?  What if they died while the mind link was still active, and what would happen to me as a result?  Though more training, would I eventually gain the ability to outright control the mental processes of the other individual and other "forbidden" actions?  Would I be able to peer into their mind at will and see everything they'd rather keep to themselves?  How would I handle this kind of power, and what would I do to ensure that I never lose control over it and risk grievous harm to others?

Even before playing Uranium, I was asking myself these questions, but seeing the effects of the prolonged mind-link between Lucille and Urayne through the Curie interface brought me back to all the questions I was asking myself before.  I think the only real difference is that I can perform this mind link at will without any kind of interface, through my own ability alone.  This means I bear even more responsibility for it than someone who requires any external device.

Hopefully this answers your question, Phantom - and maybe some of the other members were wondering about it, too.  Hopefully this answers a lot of questions many people might have, hahah.  I'd love to talk about this more, but I think that's best saved for a new post in a different section of the forum.

Dragonstrike Wrote:Welcome to the forums! Sorry to hear about the rough start, but glad to hear it's not a complete disaster.  Hope you enjoy your stay here!


Actually, I'm glad my life has been the way it has.  One of the most important things I learned was to turn adversity and extreme hardship into something positive and productive - like a martial artist or warrior, you could say (and I do have an interst in martial arts and the like, but would prefer to develop my own style).  Overcoming all these things helps to put everything into perspective; I've already suffered and overcome things that would honestly kill most people or at least scar them permanently.  As annoying as my troubles in American society are now, they pale utterly in comparison to what I've already experienced.  This kind of strength is best shown by lending it to others, so I like reach out and showing unconditional kindness to everyone, be they human or not.  It's just what I do, you know?

So, honestly?  After plenty of thinking and introspection, I can't really say my life has been a "disaster" to any extent - if anything, I'm probably stronger than most people alive because of it.  Now I want to put this strength to good use for everyone's sake.  That's how power is meant to be used, after all.

Thanks for your concern, though - honestly, I'm not used to it.  There's more to my story, but I think I've said enough here, yeah?

Lord Windos Wrote:Welcome welcome, mate! Sorry about not replying earlier, but work and classes really has been the proverbial monkey hanging on my shoulders recently, so the others got to you first before I could offer my kudos and cookies! Still, an interesting (In a good way!) character like you is what the forums need, so I am estatic to see you make your way to Pokémon Uranium! May your stay here be magnificent!


Oh, you have nothing to apologize for - besides, I know how it feels to bear the burden of life...boy, do I ever, ahaha.  If anything, I have several gorillas standing on my shoulder pretty much all the time, just to play into the context of "proverbial monkeys."  Funny thing is, I tried college and university for seven years, over seven different majors.  Chemistry, computer science, graphic design, forestry, international relations, environmental science, and sustainability.  All of these endeavors failed, but at least I now know why - and that's why autodidacticism is my thing.  Plus, I hate being stuck in lecture classes and labs; it actually gets stressful for me, being shoved in boxes like that.  One thing I plan to do in Canada is tons of different kinds of volunteer work, and for me, this is a far better way of learning than institutionalized education.  As for working in a STEM field, I think assisting a renowned scientist, researcher, or academic would be a viable substitute for a degree; having someone like that would can personally vouch for me and my ability, in addition to me showing my own effort, would say a lot, yeah?  In the end, a degree says very little about an individual - I mean, how many Master's degree holders are in positions they as individuals obviously aren't fit for?  I've seen quite a lot, myself.

Anyway, thanks for the warm welcome, everyone!  While I'm here, I'd like to see what I can contribute...starting with my cookies, haha.  Grab one before I eat 'em all!

After previewing my post...I dunno.  Maybe I should just start a blog thread somewhere, or something.  Talk about a deluge of text!  xD
It is by descending into the pits of one's personal hells to face them, conquer them, and make them part of one's strength that one realizes what's called "true power."
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#7
It did answer my question pleasantly, thank you, I've read through it with interest and might even find myself rereading it occasionally. Though, there isn't actually much to reply to it. But certainly that what other people said is "ridiculous and/or impossible", I find it not at all to be like that. It also delights me to hear that you're an empath, because I find the concept of those and their, let's call 'em 'skills or talent', kinda interesting and almost noble, yet tirering for the empathic person themselves and it's certainly nothing everyone could handle.
"Anything can be art. Anything can be self-expression. Now take your weapon and run with it" [Gerard Way]
--Windos is my OTP ❤---
`❤★`°・:*:・。[Image: fgHY4]。・:*:・゚’★❤`
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#8
Hooray forestry! I don't meet many other forestry majors (even attempted ones) online. I'm a research forester myself.
Current project:
http://fringehikers.com/
Tabletop RPG PokeRole: http://pokemonuranium.co/forum/showthread.php?tid=789
"I encourage Sceptile to branch out."
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#9
You also take beautifully pictures of nature during that research.
"Anything can be art. Anything can be self-expression. Now take your weapon and run with it" [Gerard Way]
--Windos is my OTP ❤---
`❤★`°・:*:・。[Image: fgHY4]。・:*:・゚’★❤`
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#10
Phantom Wrote:But certainly that what other people said is "ridiculous and/or impossible", I find it not at all to be like that. It also delights me to hear that you're an empath, because I find the concept of those and their, let's call 'em 'skills or talent', kinda interesting and almost noble, yet tirering for the empathic person themselves and it's certainly nothing everyone could handle.

The problem I've seen is that most people have completely shunned anything that doesn't conform to what they are able to perceive...and since most people don't have the kind of perception that I and a few others do, most are inclined to think that ESP and psychic power is "ridiculous nonsense."  A rampant innate fear of the unknown also comes into play, as well as people's unwillingness to budge from their own comfort zones and perspectives.

Honestly, I've gotten to the point where I just say "people can think what they like, even if it's completely wrong."  

Iron Wrote:Hooray forestry! I don't meet many other forestry majors (even attempted ones) online. I'm a research forester myself.

Few seem to really care about nature, at least in America.  It's all about what makes the most money or what brings the most fame, and in these self-centered pursuits, too many people have forgotten to just look around and see the real world.  As for studying forestry - or anything in general - I can't do it effectively in a university environment.  What's more, I'm someone who can literally feel the planet's pain and the anguish of living things, as well as the effects of the corruption that carries through so much of humanity now.  This falls outside the boundary of "science," and would directly conflict with a forestry major and everything that would come afterward, like the research you do, since extrasensory perception and the like have no place in the scientific method.  Honestly, this is understandable; after all, the scientific method revolves around observations made through the five "normal" human senses.  I can observe through the sensory as well as the extrasensory.  For a while now, I've been bridging science and scientific approaches with my own extrasensory observation; the challenge is doing this without conflating the two perspectives.  I've actually found a lot of answers this way - answers I'd have missed if I'd only taken one side or the other.

One thing I'd like to do is work with scientists and take this scientific approach, but also perform my own research on the side, outside that boundary, and connect the two sides.  I'd liken it to having pieces of a puzzle laid out and seeing how each piece fits most effectively and sensibly into the whole thing.  The end result couldn't rightfully be called "science,' but I don't think it even needs a name, does it?

Phantom Wrote:You also take beautifully pictures of nature during that research.


You mean like this, yeah?

[Image: _mB1cghJLwYHnmA2W07g2_VbhdEMTqPj38rmPWnI...69-h876-no]

A lot of my research involves tracking the movement and activity of natural energy - including the vitality of the world.  Needless to say, this requires a "fieldwork" approach - even with my perception, I can't make these observations if I'm stuck indoors or in a lab.  Since I have to go outside (and love being outside anyway), lots of photo opportunities present themselves.

The world has much to teach us humans, if we're open to learning this way.
It is by descending into the pits of one's personal hells to face them, conquer them, and make them part of one's strength that one realizes what's called "true power."
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