(05-26-2019, 09:03 PM)Iron Wrote: He was a bit frustrated in and out of character so he just had Terra back off for now - one of Terra's deepest fears is losing himself.
Yeap. OOCwise, I didn't quite like the fact that I had the ill omen of transformation hanging over my character and felt the group could easily do without me (And nobody tried to argue against my departure IC or OOC all that much), so I just had Terra vamoosh. ICwise....well, I actually agree with Iron about that fear. It relates to him being fairly obstrized and aimless before joining the group, as he was afraid of just.....losing all sense of purpose entirely eventually due to just not knowing what he
wants to do with his life. Its why he constantly seeks challenges and to explore/travel most everywhere, as both are activities he enjoys very much that keep his mind off that existential crisis while also keeping himself sharp and focused
and helping him finding a purpose that he can wholeheartidly dedicate himself to.
Becoming the group's bodyguard/guardian and having them/Ventus look up to him for that (to varying degrees) is perhaps one of the very best thing that's happened to him in his life, simply because it gave him a well defined role and pre-determined purpose/function he could utterly dedicate himself towards and no longer worry/fear about being/becoming purposeless. The fact that most of the group have become good friends with him and Nathan helped him discover something he is passionate/interested in (Cooking/Chemistry) beyond his duties/friendship has does wonders for his general fulfillment in life too!
Another reason he fears losing himself is also linked to another fear of his: losing control of himself and/or messing up big and hurting others. He's a fairly beefy and tough guy, so if he doesn't gauge his Strength and control it right, he's liable to do MUCH more harm and damage than he intended, which given his noble and good nature is the very LAST thing he wants to do. That, and if he can't control himself or becomes entirely void of direction/sense, how can he protect and support/care for his own partners and friends?
So the threat of becoming a Kadabra pretty much hits those two fear buttons of his
hard, enough so that it overcomes his dedication/faith/dutifulness towards his friends and just GTFO. He
might have stayed and fought if everyone pressured him hard enough and he could trust nobody could release and handle Angie, but he'd have done so from the safety of the hole in the wall, sending out his Pokemon that has Ranged Attacks (Like Solomon) and Angie duke it out in the actual Chamber bellow. Fairly OOC behavior for Terra regardless, but at least its justified more now.